KungFuMike.net - October 26, 2007

Insomnia is slowly beating me into submission with a sledgehammer wrapped in a lullaby. During the day I barely have any cravings, but come bedtime I am waking up every hour on the hour, covered in sweat clawing my eyes out for a cigarette. I've stepped up my exercising and I'm doing everything in my power to make sure that I stay asleep when I fall asleep, but nothing works. I guess I'll just have to fidget through the midnight cravings until they dissipate.

The anti-suicide kit that I've put together is a Godsend. I grabbed a slide lock plastic bag and stuffed with the necessities: Gum, hard candy, Excedrin and my inhaler. I bring this with me everywhere I go and it's really come in handy, especially when I'm hanging out with current smokers. It's also fun to hear your friends say "Yeah, just put your beer next to Mike's delicate little fiend purse." Thanks. That helps.

I'm now running 4 miles a day; 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening. It feels like it's getting harder and harder to run instead of easier. After doing a little self analysis, I discovered why: I was starting to run faster and with a better form every time I went out, but I was so used to shallow breathing that I was not taking advantage of the extra oxygen my body could now intake to keep up that pace. I actually had to sit down for a minute like Orson Welles without a Hoveround today after my two miles because I was seeing stars. That did wonders for my sense of masculinity.

I've taken the recommendation to eat a lot of hot foods (temperature wise) in order to help break the 12 year accumulation of shit in my chest. Because of this, I now have what I like to call a soup fetish. I eat so much fucking soup it's ridiculous. My cupboards look like the pantry of Shady Elms Nursing Home; every type of canned soup and soup mix in every brand. As we speak, I have a giant pot of homemade chicken soup that I am making from scratch simmering away on the stove. I will eat soup for every meal of the day, and I'm half expecting the Intervention cameras to be at my house when I come home one of these days.

I've noticed that my skin is starting to look a lot clearer and feel more healthy, and my face actually looks thinner. I think it's from my haggard sinus cavities beginning to drain now that they no longer have to protect my face from the perpetual salvo of smoky Patriot missiles that I was sending their way. Because of this, my nose is like a faucet and I have a post nasal drip that is making me cough like I just escaped the Oklahoma City bombing. I'm definitely looking forward to being able to better taste and smell things. Ladies, make sure you wash extra well before you come over because I'm going to have olefactories like a fucking fruit bat and it ain't low tide at the pier at Casa de KungFu.

Here's to a smoke free, booze free, coffee free weekend...Jesus Christ that sounds boring. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DELICATE LITTLE FIEND PURSE?!

Posted by KungFu Mike at 1:53 PM