KungFuMike.net - October 23, 2007

Day 3 is slowly turning out to be worse than day 2. I woke up sweating, coughing and reaching for my inhaler every two hours last night. Of course, coffee isn't an option for another week, so I'm left with mild tea as a substitute. Mild tea is for assholes. From what I understand, your immune system drops significantly when you first quit smoking and I'm afraid that coupled with my recent bouts of insomnia are tag teaming together to make me sick. Add achy joints, a faucet for a nose and slight fever to my already large grocery list of withdrawal symptoms, which now includes interesting colored phlegm being produced in the shower, an inability to stop bouncing my right leg and a sore throat. I'm shopping around for plane tickets to a leper colony as we speak.

Speaking of grocery lists, I called around to every grocery store in the area asking about their delivery services, and all have canceled them because of the southern California wildfires. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that we are now putting a value on the well being of grocery store employees. Next thing you know, they are going to start letting them vote. Of course, I can't move my car to go to the grocery store myself because I will lose my spot to some degenerate evacuated family's mini van almost immediately. I look out of my window and I see them circling up and down my street like sad, misplaced vultures. How the fuck is a brother supposed to make him some homemade chicken soup without a motherfucking chicken?!

Surprisingly enough, I am not running towards a cigarette yet. Even with a pair of chain smoking roommates that have openly told me they would give me a butt if I asked because they are too nice to say no, I find myself more emboldened to quit now than I was when I was sitting on that couch fighting for air Sunday morning. Having a couple smoke free days under my belt definitely helps propel me forward psychologically, even though I occasionally want to stab people in the face with a glowing soldering iron for even more ridiculous reasons than normal. Did you actually put Bring it On in your Netflix queue? You stay right fucking there while I plug this thing in.

Posted by KungFu Mike at 10:14 AM